The “BUT’s” of my thoughts… July 6, 2008
Posted by Giselle in Relationships.Tags: adult, anticipation, anxious, changes, child, complacent, different, engaged, entity, family, freedom, independance, independant, marriage, marriages, Relationship, responsibility, separate, troubled, unique, wife, worried, yearning, young
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What do you do when a change is coming over in your life.. and you are entering the next stage of your life but you don’t want to leave it and move on but instead, you want to remain a child forever…?
What do you do when you want to enter into marriage with the man you love and yet you dont want to leave your parents..?
What do you do when you are happy and confused at the same time? What if your heart beats at a rapid rate each time you think of having to leave your own home and move in with someone else within another 5 day?! OMG! 5 days!!! Just a mere 5 days and I’m married!
I’m getting really worried. I have not been able to slim down as I wanted to.. I don’t wanna leave my parents and sister and family.. I don’t want to leave my own home and my freedom.. I don’t want to lose my independance and become responsible for another person too.. I don’t want to have to take care of anyone else other than me yet!!!!
I want to remain where I am.. … I am yet a fledgling, having not seen the world in its true colours.. but having to fly just because I look big enough to be able to take on the responsibility..
Can I? Will I?? … O God.. Must I????!!! A whole different person who is a separate entity from myself.. A whole different family whose habits, characteristics, mannerisms, opinions, and thinking is a world different from that of mine!
I don’t want to go.. I don’t want the hours to fly by and I don’t want the days to fade into nights and yet again bloom into another bright day!!!
I want to stay exactly where I am.. But I cant.. Can I? I love him. But, I love my present life too. I don’t want things to change..
I wanna have my freedom forever!!!
Deep breath Darlin….everything your feeling is really normal. The day I walked down the isle (which was an open area by the water with about 200 unexpected guests in the audience because it was a public place) I froze. Physically. The person who was walking me down said to me…”comon quick, we can make a run for it, I’ll push you into the water and you can swim to your freedom”. I lost it laughing and it was all good, but I felt horribly sick for days before I got there.
You love him and whatever the future holds, it holds, you have no control over it. Just love him, be with him for that reason and let the rest go. It’s time to for a change and home will still be there, your parents will still love you, your family, your friends and life will be everything you make of it.
Your blessed, be happy and get married!!! I’m thrilled for you, my best wishes and luv to you both.
What you are going thru rite now, your thoughts and feelings, can be compared to that of a bungee jumper. Should I jump? What if I die? What if I sprain my neck? These are all peripheral questions based on the actual act of jumping. But what happens once he takes the plunge?? He doesn’t die. Nor does he sprain his neck. In fact he lives to tell the tale of bungee jumping and how thrilling it is!! Same with you. A few days from now, you’ll tell others how wonderful it is to get married!!
Do practice the “fake” smile you’ll have to wear throughout the day of your wedding!!! All the best!
I think this is wat exactly my gal things.She things coming in to my life ,she will loose her freedom.Sometimes i think she doesn’t love me .because love is something were you compromise,bent on somethings .Living together doesn;t means compromising freedom.Staying with your parents you have also compromised some of your freedom,its just that you have got used to it and feel you have full freedom but for truth what you live and what you get and when it remains for a longer period it gets called as freedom.A prisoner also has freedom but of a different degree when compared to normal people but for the prisoner his daily routine is freedom.Freedom is a relative thing you cant define the borders of it .It keeps expanding,shrinking and you never realize it and feel what you have now is complete freedom. This is what i feel ,maybe iam wrong .
Lovely thoughts alwaysthatgirl!
My fiance and I got stranded in the Toronto train station during the massive eastern power outage of August 2003. We missed our own wedding!
But when you’re saying your vows, you’ll know then that none of the craziness matters, and that this whole marriage thing isn’t about leaving anyone behind ; ) It’s about loving a man enough to say “full speed ahead!” to even more craziness lol
Thank you so much ATG, rb, Farpointer and Cymbria
and yes! Im practicing the fake smile.. yesterday the cameramen were all around me and what with al lthe crowd, light and heat, it was a real busy day!! Guess today is going to be even worse!! 
But, as you all said.. it is fun.. met my fiance yesterday.. and as usual, felt this wave of joy run through me 
) I guess i would not be able to blog for awhile.. but I shall come back ith the latest as soon as it is done. .and all about “marriage and married life!! ” 
and by the way dears, since my marriage is tomorrow (yea.. YAY!!!
Love you all! Pray for me too.. Mwah!
See you soon ; )
Hey Giselle!! How are things?? Long time!!
heya! im doing good.. Net access after a long while… Honeymoon was “LOVERLY!!
Now, settling with the man of my life.. my heart.. my dreams.. my soulmate.. my partner in crime;-)
Here I am.. bac again!:)