Return of retro! August 29, 2008
Posted by Giselle in Réflexions diverses.Tags: article, beauty, choice, conventional, Feminism, golden, homemaker, housekeeping, insatiable, Love, metrosexual, modern, news, oldern, problems, Relationships, research, retrosexual, secure, stable, tension, traditional, upkeep, values, women, work
trackback
Just this morning upon reading the paper, I chanced upon this article from London where according to British research, where “females are making conventional choices by eschewing the sexual revolution plank of feminism in favour of more traditional values.”
Once upon a time, long long ago…men were simply men. Working to bring food home to their women and once at home, lazing under the love and care poured upon them by their ladies. But then, talks began, discussions were aplenty and the group of feminists arose who decided that males were just chauvinist pigs who were too lazy to help in the kitchen with the cleaning, washing and cooking! Thus, the men became the guilt ridden New Man where he helped around the house and went to work and basically did everything that needed doing while their ladies were still plotting upon how to bring about equality between men and women. Soon enough the sect of the sensitive, moisturizer/fairness creams/sunscreen-using Metrosexual Man took on, once they got fed up of being the mule while their wives got political!
But of course! The insatiable women soon enough missed all the testosterone that used to be around them and yearned for the return of the Real Men!
He whose mind is uncluttered, who makes clear-cut on the spot decisions, is strong and brave and oozes masculinity. But who at the same time keeps himself clean and impeccably groomed without taking long in the bathroom!
He who is a gentleman and opens doors for women, lets her go before him, gives up his seat for her.. He who would stand upon the entry of a woman into the room, who would at least act as though he is listening to what his woman is saying without interrupting, without giving advises..at the most just nod his head every 60 seconds and grunt to acknowledge the fact that he is listening to her combined with a considerate frown or chuckle at the appropriate moments…
He who wants to make love to her arduously being both soft and wild at the same time without any kind of extra kinky stuff like bondage or domination or foul language.. The old, smooth, romantic way of making love… He, who would never raise his hand or voice at a lady or abuse her in any kind of manner..
He who would not lead a woman on making her think he is interested in a lifetime together when all he wants is sex.
He who would give up the computer, the newspaper and the sports for that one special girl 
…
Basically all these are the features girls have always looked for in a guy.. But well, it is the things you want most which are the hardest to get!
Now, with men going retro, the women too aren’t far behind. Women these days prefer to say at home and look after their husband and kids. I’m not saying that they are uninterested in a career. But once kids are born, they realize that they are wanted more by their children at home than at the workplace! And so, they are willing to give it up although the catchword here is “For the time being”.
But all in all, women have begun to realize the importance of being a homemaker.. of being the thread that ties a family together. Because, to make a normal house into a home filled with love and warmth, where outsiders yearn to come..where the family feels a sense of belonging and safety is a very very Very difficult task.
Career women have work. Above all the problems at home, they have work tensions, deadlines to meet, egos to be swallowed, anger to be controlled.. It makes life a misery except for the salary which you get every month and a sense of purpose that makes you feel wanted.. gives you your own importance. That feeling is different in its own way.
There was a time when women (a very few handful of them that is) were alright with their husbands staying at home to look after their children while they were the bread-winners of the family. But now the trend is changing.
Women want a man who they can feel safe with. Who they can depend upon. Who is responsible. Who would take care of her and the family. Who is financially stable. A man who would turn to her for love and for reassurance, to keep them mentally able and strong.
This is what women all over the world after all want right..?
In fact, men too want a traditional wife who would most importantly be loyal to him and shower all her love upon him and women are happy to oblige..
is a blog post I came across which I think you would be interested to read up on…
Well, this is interesting to me in two ways. First of all, my wife is a stay at home mother, and we live a pretty “retro” life in that sense. It was something we both wanted because we both agree that it’s better for the kids. I wouldn’t do well as a stay at home Dad. I think women have a better instinct for childrearing than men do.
Second, I was just thinking this morning about masculinity. This is because a neighbor of mine was making wiseass remarks at me this morning because it was one of the rare times that I was out at the bus stop. “Did this interfere with your sleep plans?”, he asked. “Yeah, I usually sleep until about 11:00 and then get ready to watch the soaps”, I replied. It may sound funny, but it was actually an attempt on his part to imply that I’m lazy, which in turn was his way of expressing resentment that I’m usually not the one who has to take the kids out while he is. It got me thinking about the male tendency to be aggressive and engage in one-upsmanship, which is something I can’t relate to at all. You see, I’m a bit of a metrosexual girlyman, at least on some levels, and I deal with a bit of insecurity about this. You know, wanting to be a “real man” and all that.
So there – I’ve suceeded in going on about myself without seriously addressing the issues you’ve raised here. All I can say is that the question of human nature and differences between men and women is a very big one.
Retro according to me doesn’t mean going All out MALE!!!! That would be a little too much for me to handle
Rudeness is not something that is typical male. It is a sign of uncivilized behaviour. Being a “real” man involves many aspects.. tiny ones that you may not always notice or those that are obvious but you still just don’t realize them..
Your way was a typical male way if you ask me coz’ you handles the situation with dignity.
I am a sucker for that quiet dignified silent way of “crushing” another person
Well, to get back to your original post here, I wanted to mention that a very good friend of mine is a stay at home Dad. He deals with some of the same feelings that I think you’re dealing with (not using his degree, not being “legitimate”, what do people think?, etc.). I’m convinced that being a homemaker is not only legitimate, but makes life much easier for your partner. I could go on for a while about this. I’d just say to keep in mind that there’s plenty of time for you to pursue a career so just try to give yourself a break about this and not indulge too much in those feelings of guilt or inadequacy that seem to be doging you these days. Believe me, this is a piece of advice that I often need to hear myself for a variety of reasons.
http://letitblurt.wordpress.com
yes. I agree with you.. but the greatest fear I have is whether anyone would hire me when there are so many freshers around and it has already been 1 year since i’ve graduated.. stepping into my 2nd year of joblessness now! SO the problem would be losing touch with the subject you see…
Well, I can’t pretend to know much about your field, but there’s always the possibility of keeping up on the latest developements and then bragging about this to prospective employers.
Here’s a way to keep all this in perspective: Recently, the former Soviet dissident Alexandar Soltzenytsin (spelling?) died. The guy spent years in the Siberian gulag and lived to tell about it. Just think about how things must have seemed decades later, looking back. What I’m getting at is people go through major ordeals, success, failure, etc. Things eventually work out. Life goes on. Also, remember that there aren’t that many people with the degree that you have. And there are other things to pursue. I’ve never used my degree, and there are many who don’t. Yes, it can seem like a waste, but then there’s the experience you had, right?
Another aspect of this is whether you’re planning on having kids, and if so, when. That puts a whole other spin on it. There are a lot of women who leave the workforce to be moms, as I’m sure you know.