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Alone Forever… April 6, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Relationships.
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Today I feel cheated. I feel betrayed.

Something that I had thought would not happen, happened. Someone I thought would be with me through thick and thin, whether we be having a fight/argument or not, left me stranded..left me just hanging there with my tumult of emotions, tears running down my cheek..making me feel unloved, unwanted.

Am I such a bad person that Im not required in anybody’ life..? Am I so much an extra addition in everyone’ life…? The sorrow just doesnt dim. The tears just dont stop.. cz’ the two people who did these things are so damn very important to me…             😥

……

Does it not hurt you when you are not treated the way you treat others..? Does it not make you feel miserable when you are treated like shit and just turned to when someone requires something…? Do you not feel unwanted when the people most close to you, dont feel the same way about you..?

It does hurt me. I do feel miserable. And I do feel very unwanted. 😦

 

It makes me realize that in the end, it is only your parents and your siblings you can depend upon.. cz’ they are the only ones who would keep aside a fight for you. They are the only ones who would tell you when there’ something wrong. They are the only ones who will leave everything to rush to your side when you need them. They are the only ones who will take your side forever and never humiliate you i nfront of others. They are the only ones who will love you unconditionally, ferociously, passionately! …

I once thought that it is a husband and wife who would and should stick together no matter what. But now, I have learnt otherwise. From personal experience.

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Comments»

1. alwaysthatgirl - April 7, 2008

Giselle…honey. I’m on my road trip checking my email and happened to pop in for a second and popped over here to see your widgets and site, since we mentioned them and instead I read this. If you need someone to talk to, because you know I can relate to all those feelings that are going on through your head, please don’t hesitate to reach out to talk.

I think your right, no one owes it to us to be here forever, unfortunately not even our siblings or our parents. If you have that, then you are lucky. We have to learn to be alone and walk by the side of others and I think when we learn to do that, if and when people are there, we have more joy over it and when they are not, we can find stillness and the things we need within ourselves. You are not a bad person, none of us and for those that don’t care for us the way we need to be cared for, someone else will. You and I both need faith in that. Thinking of you, hang in there.

2. Joe - April 7, 2008

I can only agree with the wisdom of ATG. Your writing is a way you can reflect and be strong for yourself. You do have friends here, and I for one would be happy to listen to you if you need to talk.

3. Giselle - April 8, 2008

Thnx a lot ATG and Joe…It means a lot when I see that someone does care about me…I thought a lot that day about all the stuff happening in my life and what I realized in the end is just the same thing.. I realized I ought not to depend upon anyone else for my happiness.. Cz’ it just does’nt work that way… Isnt it? It just brings about sorrow and a lot of confused feelings.. But, thanx again… n I would of course turn to you guys for comfort 🙂


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