The “BUT’s” of my thoughts… July 6, 2008Posted by Giselle in Relationships.
Tags: adult, anticipation, anxious, changes, child, complacent, different, engaged, entity, family, freedom, independance, independant, marriage, marriages, Relationship, responsibility, separate, troubled, unique, wife, worried, yearning, young
What do you do when a change is coming over in your life.. and you are entering the next stage of your life but you don’t want to leave it and move on but instead, you want to remain a child forever…?
What do you do when you want to enter into marriage with the man you love and yet you dont want to leave your parents..?
What do you do when you are happy and confused at the same time? What if your heart beats at a rapid rate each time you think of having to leave your own home and move in with someone else within another 5 day?! OMG! 5 days!!! Just a mere 5 days and I’m married!
I’m getting really worried. I have not been able to slim down as I wanted to.. I don’t wanna leave my parents and sister and family.. I don’t want to leave my own home and my freedom.. I don’t want to lose my independance and become responsible for another person too.. I don’t want to have to take care of anyone else other than me yet!!!!
I want to remain where I am.. … I am yet a fledgling, having not seen the world in its true colours.. but having to fly just because I look big enough to be able to take on the responsibility..
Can I? Will I?? … O God.. Must I????!!! A whole different person who is a separate entity from myself.. A whole different family whose habits, characteristics, mannerisms, opinions, and thinking is a world different from that of mine!
I don’t want to go.. I don’t want the hours to fly by and I don’t want the days to fade into nights and yet again bloom into another bright day!!!
I want to stay exactly where I am.. But I cant.. Can I? I love him. But, I love my present life too. I don’t want things to change..
I wanna have my freedom forever!!!