Giselle’ Diary

Talking about him.. May 3, 2008

There are times I wish I were with him. In fact, I yearn for that almost all the time.

I did not know when I first met him that he would be the one for me.. that someday I would be his.. that he would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with.. that I would find so much of this thing that we keep on hearing about so often and that so many follow sometimes vainly- true love – from him…

The first moment my eyes fell on him, I felt some sort of attraction.. a pull you could maybe say. My friends did not think much of my choice.. but he was somehow seemed very captivating to me with his smart dressing, his long strided determined walk, his cautious eyes, his innocent smile and his completely charming laughter 🙂 Thinking about the first time we talked to each other, a smile already forms on my face.. Both of us were at a loss for words but me being the chatterbox that I am, somehow managed to keep up the conversation while tension was eating me from inside and my heart was beating so loud that I thought he might hear it!!! 😉

He has a weird sense of humour..but 😀 makes me laugh almost all the time 🙂 He loves holding my hand over the gear while driving.. He enjoys teasing me and I’m pretty sure he finds it a great hobby to see all the various expressions that so easily comes over my face when he says something or the other..

When we are together and alone he makes me want him so bad and then teases me by pulling away and giving me that o so adorable smile and a naughty laughter! How can I even get angry at him when face to face..Absolutely no chance!

Everything was moving so smoothly. .so beautifully.. life was brilliant..bright..full of hope..full of shine..               Yea.. The problem is now. When everything became so alright with everyone.. when everyone now knows that we are soon going to be man and wife..  It now has become so trapped.. somehow secluded.. and I feel so much pressure from all sides..   “You must do this this way.”Don’t do that.”, “You have to take care of him.”, ” Do you know cooking?”, “No. You have to see to it that he is comfortable.”, “You have to find a job near his place.”, “Does he approve?”, “Don’t you think you should ask him about it?”, “How can you take your own decision? Check with him too.”

Why? Why? Why?!!! We have been together for like forever!!!! 4 years is quite a long time and in these years, we had gotten to know each other quite a bit.. and I thought.. actually, I felt that we were married..in a way. The only thing lacking from our “marriage” was the fact that it was not yet legal. But, seeing how things turn after making a relationship public and getting engaged, I sometimes feel that maybe it wasn’t such a wise idea. I could have just stayed a spinster and kept loving him…

But, that is just one side of the coin…

All the freedom we get with each other and all the time we get to spend with each other make up for everything else.. Even now, deep inside my heart, nothing has changed from the first moment I met him.. All those feelings.. All those thoughts.. All the crazy beating of my heart.. Everything is the same! 🙂

Still, there is that aspect of subtlety missing these days. No more of those adventures of getting away without anybody else’ knowledge.. No more long night calls and morning wake up calls.. No more extra appreciation and passionate desire to spend time alone.. I miss all that..

Still… ….    ….  to be with the man you love and who loves you back.. to be an equal partner and spend your life with him.. to intertwine both your roads of life to make it one long happy journey is enough to keep any girl happy..

…

He is the one who made me even think of marriage and kids.. in short, the entire package! 😉

..So, yea.. i cant wait to begin my life with him..as man and wife 🙂