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Luckily… March 21, 2009

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I am SO lucky to be married to my husband!

He’  just Perfect! He has been SO supportive of my job timings which have now increased to 11 hours a day due to the financial year busy season!  He helps me with all the household chores and especially with cooking! I have NO idea what I would have done without him…

It feels great to be married to such a gem of a person! 😀

I agree the work timings are a bit over the board and it just is not fair on him. Mine and because of that, his schedules are all in haywire! The body clocks too! Our meal timings and the cookng is all on such a low scale these days that I feel so bad about the fact that I am not able to look after him as I used to.. 😦 Sometimes I feel I just ought to turn in my resignation letter. But the joy that you get on the last day of every month is just too tempting!!! 😉

Well, who knows what may happen when.. SO, Im just taking things slow. Yes, I am looking for another job with better timings so that I could have my personal life also. But right now it is just the job! :/ I knw. It does sound so bad. Doesn’t it…

Marriage. Why? October 11, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Relationships.
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Why DO men and women get married?

They say they love each other. But does it last? Are they really able to intertwine two individuals’ likes, dislikes, hobbies, tempers, egos, whims and fancies and mould it into a single path.. a single road?

I know here I am going to go against all that I said in my earlier posts..but I felt I had to view love life from the opposite point too…

Read why at http://www.luckyandvin.com/relationships/marriage-why/

I am So Mean :'( August 27, 2008

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I did a very bad thing today. Why am I like this? Why can I not understand my husband? Why am I being such a pain in the ass!!!! :/

Jason loves me so much and this is what I do to him! I feel so terrible!!! 😥

… 😦 He took his frustration out at me when he came back from a hard day of work and I got all huffed up and insulted at his mentioning that my work looked like a game to him and I walked off to bed. I didn’t give him dinner and neither did I prepare anything for breakfast!!! I actually intentionally hurt the love of my life!!!! I don’t think even God would forgive me!!! 😥 I feel like crying.. Why do I behave this way sometimes?

He takes care of me and caters to my every need and wish.. He loves me with the whole of his heart and would never cheat on me. He loves the food I make for him and he likes spending time with me. Yet, what do I do… I hurt him, Again and again! :/

Fine!I don’t have a job. But that is not his fault! He is also trying to get me a job somehow.. and then WHY did I have to treat him the way I just did! I don’t think there is anything I could do to compensate for what I did :/ But what is it about the computer and the internet that is SO tempting to him and cant be put away for his girl, I cannot imagine! 😦 I feel so lonely when he sits in front of the computer..because the moment that happens, he completely looses every other sense of whats happening around him.. 😦

I did not even hug him yesterday night.. and neither did I give him any kisses when he went to office today.. and I made him go to bed hungry and go to office hungry today morning… :/

It is all my fault… :/ and I am not able to make up with him coz’ lost time can never be made up for.. 😦

….

But he too did not come to talk to me after venting out his frustration.. He could have just come near me at least.. He knows how fast I forgive him.. It really hurt me when he compared my field of work to a game..:/ and even I have not eaten anything in the past 1 day…

… Whats the use…? I was completely wrong and there is nothing I can do to make up with him over this 😦 and he is never going to forget this either.. 😦

The “BUT’s” of my thoughts… July 6, 2008

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What do you do when a change is coming over in your life.. and you are entering the next stage of your life but you don’t want to leave it and move on but instead, you want to remain a child forever…?

What do you do when you want to enter into marriage with the man you love and yet you dont want to leave your parents..?

What do you do when you are happy and confused at the same time? What if your heart beats at a rapid rate each time you think of having to leave your own home and move in with someone else within another 5 day?! OMG! 5 days!!! Just a mere 5 days and I’m married!

I’m getting really worried. I have not been able to slim down as I wanted to.. I don’t wanna leave my parents and sister and family.. I don’t want to leave my own home and my freedom.. I don’t want to lose my independance and become responsible for another person too.. I don’t want to have to take care of anyone else other than me yet!!!!

I want to remain where I am..    …   I am yet a fledgling, having not seen the world in its true colours.. but having to fly just because I look big enough to be able to take on the responsibility..

Can I? Will I?? … O God.. Must I????!!!  A whole different person who is a separate entity from myself.. A whole different family whose habits, characteristics, mannerisms, opinions, and thinking is a world different from that of mine!

I don’t want to go.. I don’t want the hours to fly by and I don’t want the days to fade into nights and yet again bloom into another bright day!!!

I want to stay exactly where I am.. But I cant.. Can I? I love him. But, I love my present life too. I don’t want things to change..

I wanna have my freedom forever!!!

Ancient Promises May 28, 2008

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One of my personal favorites, “Ancient Promises” is a book written by Jaishree Misra. She is an Indian author whose debut novel (Ancient Promises) was published and sold worldwide by Penguin UK and became a major bestseller in India. The book describes a Delhi upbringing, interspersed with idyllic holidays in Kerala.

Synopsis – ‘Young and vulnerable, Janu gave up Arjun, her first love, to enter into an arranged marriage. Years later, she is miserable, having been gradually shut out by the coldness of her husband’s family and his indifference to her and her daughter’s needs. Finally she flees to England to escape the loveless union—but at what price to herself and those she loves? The moving story of one woman’s painful journey of self-discovery, Ancient Promises is about a marriage, a divorce, and motherhood. It is about why we love and lose, sometimes seeming to have little control over our destinies.’

It maybe because the story is based on a land I personally know and have been experiencing for the past o so many years now…or it must be simply because of the way it is written… powerful yet soft and vulnerable at the same time..  It has been written in the exact manner how any normal teenager would react.. in the way any normal girl would think about the situations that life throws at her.. There are no presumptions, no exaggerations.. and the story is crafted with a flow that would leave the reader yearning for more..

 

                              

Once you catch hold of this book, make yourself comfortable on your reading chair, cz’ its gonna be awhile before you take a “break”! 😉 It is that good! It is so alive that once you are right in the book, you stay there.. it is as though you are the one who is experiencing each little joy, each heartbreak, each smile, each disappointment and every drop of excitement!!!

Check out this book. It is a must have! Especially for those who live in India and who can relate to the incidents and the places…

 

See here for the initial intricacies of an arranged marriage… https://4mgiselle.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/the-whole-hungama-of-a-south-indian-marriage/

The whole hungama of a South Indian Marriage! May 24, 2008

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The girl is 21 years old.. and all of a sudden people begin “enquiring” about her – what she has studied, if she is still studying, what her age is, where her parents are and their occupations, whether she has any siblings… blah blah blah!

Matchmaking goes on as she racks her head to be thorough with the portions that have to be covered for her semester exams.. Her parents are suddenly overwhelmed by proposals both from within India and abroad and pictures of boys – some who look like they could be over 35 years but whose portfolio (which is the other funny thing.. A Biodata!! Can you believe that?! There actually is a biodata which is prepared to be exchanged to the bride/groom’ parents with which you have to select the better one from!!!) says he is only 26!!! Now, could that be possible?! Apart from the very few who actually look “suitable”, most are just unbearable!!  You could say that seeing these wedding sites literally makes the bride cry!!! (The same is true vice-versa also.. Ive seen some girls pictures too.. n OMG!!! I cant believe who they actually go through the humility of having their pictures published in such a property-to-be-owned manner!!! Sad for the guys thereI should say… but well, since Im a girl, Im gonna talk from the “she” point of view…)

Once the “appropriate” guy is “shortlisted” (which is in NO way an easy task!!), they come over to the girl’ house to “see” the girl.. Now, here is when the girl decks herself in jewellery and a saree and serves tea… And if both parties are okay, the to-be-wedded ”children” talk while the elders discuss about how, when and where the wedding must take place..

After this, the boy and the girl are allowed to talk over the phone which is kind of the maximum contact they have befre they “tie the knot”! These days, they are allowed to meet up and talk directly, privately to each other too.. (and I must say that IS good). Soon enough the engagement and marriage is fixed!!!

I by the way know of a girl who when I was studying in the hostel, went home with a cold and came back after a week, a married lady! It was all of a sudden!!! Believe me, we were all sooo surprised!!! Everything happened in the span of a week!!!! Yes! JUST ONE SINGLE WEEK!!! But, well ,everyone’ happy and there’ no problem there 🙂 So, thats also goooood ! 😉

Now, since I have not attended any other religion other than Hindu marriages, I guess I shall talk about that only..

Now, after all the arrangements are made, comes the PREPARATIONS!!!

Woah!! Now, this is another handful!!! Firstly, there is the maintenance of the house to be done – mending of broken pipes, fixing of air conditionings, tightening the bolts of the various windows and doors, building whole new segments of the existing house..etc… Then there is the painting which throws up enough and more dust for someone with no respiratory disease to even develop some disorder like asthma!! Painting includes selection of a paint from a pamphlet of more than a thousand colours!!! No. Im NOT kidding!! There are just the colours of the VIBGYOR, but once it is differentiated into various hues and tones, innumerable shades of colours emerge!!! The worst part is that it is one thing to see it on a card and a totally other thing to see it painted on your walls!!

After the painting is done, there is the re-arrangement of furnitures to be done and the duting, sweeping, swabbing and finally the house is cleaned up.. Now, maybe with an extra touch here by adding new furnitures or the discarding of some old ones and a small touch there by maybe a change in curtains and an addition of extra throw-cushions makes the house more homely…

Next comes jewellery.. Now, for a Hindu wedding, you HAVE to be wearing LOTS of gold jewellery!!! In my personal opinion, it just makes one look not that great in the end!!! But well, thats the custom..

Then we have the card printing which is such a confusion wen we go to the card shop and are literally assaulted with the variety of cards kept on show there that it takes quite some time to figure out which to choose…  ( n this card which the family chooses with such careful deliberation, is not kept by anyone else other than for the immediate family alone… that is the most sad thing of all.. esp card selection. .when you look and search and find a card you like and you invite your dear and near with it.. and for all you know, they could use it as paper to clean animal shit or else maybe just to wrap their food or well, even rubbish…!!! :/ Some cards are so elaborate you wonder why they went to the trouble of actually paying such a high amount for something that is anyway going to be thrown by others!!!)

These days, there are extra traditions being followed such as mehendi and sangeet the day before and then an elaborate dinner with the DJ still rock n roll’ing.. and a very huge reception after the wedding and dancing and singing.. Even bachelor parties are being much more Westernised!!!  In earlier days, the marriage was simple.. the bride and the groom’ parents met, arranged and discussed and got them married off.. Then they lived together.. making compromises and adjusting to each other…  But now, the elaborate-ness of the entire affair is just too much to bear!! n whats worse is that its keeping on getting more and more elaborate only!!!

more c.o.n.t.d. later on…

Talking about him.. May 3, 2008

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There are times I wish I were with him. In fact, I yearn for that almost all the time.

I did not know when I first met him that he would be the one for me.. that someday I would be his.. that he would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with.. that I would find so much of this thing that we keep on hearing about so often and that so many follow sometimes vainly- true love – from him…

The first moment my eyes fell on him, I felt some sort of attraction.. a pull you could maybe say. My friends did not think much of my choice.. but he was somehow seemed very captivating to me with his smart dressing, his long strided determined walk, his cautious eyes, his innocent smile and his completely charming laughter 🙂 Thinking about the first time we talked to each other, a smile already forms on my face.. Both of us were at a loss for words but me being the chatterbox that I am, somehow managed to keep up the conversation while tension was eating me from inside and my heart was beating so loud that I thought he might hear it!!! 😉

He has a weird sense of humour..but 😀 makes me laugh almost all the time 🙂 He loves holding my hand over the gear while driving.. He enjoys teasing me and I’m pretty sure he finds it a great hobby to see all the various expressions that so easily comes over my face when he says something or the other..

When we are together and alone he makes me want him so bad and then teases me by pulling away and giving me that o so adorable smile and a naughty laughter! How can I even get angry at him when face to face..Absolutely no chance!

Everything was moving so smoothly. .so beautifully.. life was brilliant..bright..full of hope..full of shine..               Yea.. The problem is now. When everything became so alright with everyone.. when everyone now knows that we are soon going to be man and wife..  It now has become so trapped.. somehow secluded.. and I feel so much pressure from all sides..   “You must do this this way.”Don’t do that.”, “You have to take care of him.”, ” Do you know cooking?”, “No. You have to see to it that he is comfortable.”, “You have to find a job near his place.”, “Does he approve?”, “Don’t you think you should ask him about it?”, “How can you take your own decision? Check with him too.”

Why? Why? Why?!!! We have been together for like forever!!!! 4 years is quite a long time and in these years, we had gotten to know each other quite a bit.. and I thought.. actually, I felt that we were married..in a way. The only thing lacking from our “marriage” was the fact that it was not yet legal. But, seeing how things turn after making a relationship public and getting engaged, I sometimes feel that maybe it wasn’t such a wise idea. I could have just stayed a spinster and kept loving him…

But, that is just one side of the coin…

All the freedom we get with each other and all the time we get to spend with each other make up for everything else.. Even now, deep inside my heart, nothing has changed from the first moment I met him.. All those feelings.. All those thoughts.. All the crazy beating of my heart.. Everything is the same! 🙂

Still, there is that aspect of subtlety missing these days. No more of those adventures of getting away without anybody else’ knowledge.. No more long night calls and morning wake up calls.. No more extra appreciation and passionate desire to spend time alone.. I miss all that..

Still… ….    ….  to be with the man you love and who loves you back.. to be an equal partner and spend your life with him.. to intertwine both your roads of life to make it one long happy journey is enough to keep any girl happy..

He is the one who made me even think of marriage and kids.. in short, the entire package! 😉

..So, yea.. i cant wait to begin my life with him..as man and wife 🙂

Him… :) April 29, 2008

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He looks at me.. I can feel my legs become jelly..

He smiles at me… My cheeks turn red…

He holds me.. My knees start trembling..

He pulls me closer to him.. I can feel the tingling all through my body..

He begins speaking to me.. I get lost in those deep black brown eyes of his..

He laughs out loud at something funny and a 100 watt smile forms across my face.. 🙂

He sits beside me, his arms around my shoulders… and I feel warm inside..

We hold hands and I feel complete..

I love hm so much.. Even through the frequent arguments and disagreements that are so silly that we laugh about it while making up, even when I feel down and his hectic schedule makes me feel as though I no longer have an important place in his heart, I love him..  🙂 No particular reason that I can pinpoint.. but yet.. he’ there and I love him…

All he has to do is take my hands in his, call my name softly and look at me.. and say that he loves me.. Im lost.. I am so totally lost at that moment.. All my barriers.. all my anger.. all my fears, sorrows, worries… everything melts away into vaccuum!!! The only truth I feel at that moment and what I know is true is the vast and deep endless ocean of love that he has just for me 🙂 and I know that is enough for ever…

Just for fun March 20, 2008

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I saw this on someone else’s blog and thought I would post it for fun… Why dont you also check it out..? 😉  Quite revealing Id say..

Some Relationship Questions :

Q: Would you give a cheater a second chance?

A: Well, I dont think I would be able to trust my partner if he cheats on me.. but it would take all my efforts to not forgive him.. cz’  I love him a lot.  But if he is sincere in repenting what he did I might end up giving him a second chance after all… Who knows!

But I guess I need not worry too much about it cz’  he will not cheat on me. I am a 100% certain about that.. cz’  he too loves me most probably more than what even I do!!  🙂

Q: Would you move because of ‘Love’ ?

A: Now..thats quite tough, I guess I would move along with him..becauseI feel, that love is something you have to create together by being with each other and sharing each other’s life in its every aspect. And if you are goign to stay away from each other, then the purpose is not achieved. Is it..? A good job can be found.. and a good living condition can be brought about with love..

Q: Would you rather have a good looking boyfriend that’s stupid or a ugly one who’s smart?

A: An ugly one who’s smart. Without a doubt!! But the prob’  that looks also matter to me.. so most probably Id be attracted to the good looking dumb guy at first but be repelled by him, once I knew that there wasnt any beauty in his head! But Id be friends with the ugly smart guy for always.. A smart person who matches your wavelength and with whom you can be comfortable, is someone who you can keeo as your friend, forever.

Q: Do you want kids?

A: hehehe… 😀 Obviously! 🙂  … Altho I’d have to confess that before I met the man of my dreams, I never was very interested in lil kids… But, knowing my man and being with him gave rise to these weird kindda but good and special feelings and now..well.. he makes me feel like a woman! 🙂

Q: What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

A: It seems I look quite charming and homely so that guys automatically are lured;-) hehehe.. j/k.. Well, in truth, I think it must be my smile..and my eyes.. Thats what my fiance loves most about my looks..

Q: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

A: Nopes. i dont think I would.. except if I thought he was the one..then I might be a little shy…

Some Questions of Personality :

Q: What gives you Pleasure in Life?

A: Id have to say that it would be being with the people I love most..!! Other than for that there are these little things I like such as how Julie Andrews sang in “The Sound Of Music”.. I love the dewdrops on flowers.. I love the rainbow after a rain.. I love the sun coming out from behind the clouds.. I love watching the clouds float in the sky changing its shapes.. I love the changing colours of the sky in the evening.. I love the feel of satin.. I love a warm comfortable bed.. I love a warm mug of chocolate milk when it rains.. I love the smell of spices.. I love food.. I love nature!! …. the list just goes on…

Q: Would you rather be on time and look OK or 10 minutes late and look great?

A: Id no doubt rather be on time and look ok.. But Im usually a few minutes earlier than the actual time…else I become all maniacal!!! 😉 So, Id normally have those few moments to make myself look better than ok… 😉

Q: Snooze button or jump out of bed?

A: Always the snooze button 😀 .. But now that Im getting married, I guess Id have to make jumping outta bed a habit …  😉

Q: What would you like to accomplish before you die?

A: Id love to travel around the world with my soon-to-be-husband 🙂  .. well ,thats about it, right now..

Q: If you came with Instructions what would they say?

A: Wild and lively, lives life to the fullest! A little unpredictable and a little more short-tempered;-) But forgives and forgets very easily. Strong-willed and positively confident. Hates to be judged or wrongly accused. Values love and happiness above everything else. Will defend her loved ones ferociously.

Q: What are three of your guilty pleasures?

A: Too much time over the phone with my fiance, Reading in bed and being completely absorbed in the book, Late mornings…  yea.. I know. All thats gonna change very soon 😉 But I dont think Im gonna be fretting over that 🙂

Howzzat? Why dont you also try it?