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Luckily… March 21, 2009

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I am SO lucky to be married to my husband!

He’  just Perfect! He has been SO supportive of my job timings which have now increased to 11 hours a day due to the financial year busy season!  He helps me with all the household chores and especially with cooking! I have NO idea what I would have done without him…

It feels great to be married to such a gem of a person! 😀

I agree the work timings are a bit over the board and it just is not fair on him. Mine and because of that, his schedules are all in haywire! The body clocks too! Our meal timings and the cookng is all on such a low scale these days that I feel so bad about the fact that I am not able to look after him as I used to.. 😦 Sometimes I feel I just ought to turn in my resignation letter. But the joy that you get on the last day of every month is just too tempting!!! 😉

Well, who knows what may happen when.. SO, Im just taking things slow. Yes, I am looking for another job with better timings so that I could have my personal life also. But right now it is just the job! :/ I knw. It does sound so bad. Doesn’t it…

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Good news! March 21, 2009

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Hey there evrybody..

Firstly let me begin with a BIG apology for being soooo behind in my writings. Although when you hear the reason, you sure would not be feeling too bad about it! 🙂

I GOT A JOB!!! 😀

It all began one fine day some months back when I received a call from a placement offfice informing me about a vacancy. As I was getting bored out of my wits sitting at home, I thought to myself, “Why not? I shall give this a try even though it may not be my field.”  And thus, the journey began. I went through 5 rounds of interviews & tests and passed.  Soon it was the day to collect my offer letter. I was THRILLED! I’d be joining in 2 weeks time! My office was FAR away nd I would have to travel a lot. Also the timings would be a little rigorous. But I was just SO enthralled at having finally become a working lady that I did not give it any thought.

The day finally dawned and I went to office, with trepidation in my heart as to what was awaiting me. But it was GREAT! It was fantastic!! 🙂 Everything was going wonderfully well. I was part of a pilot team and it felt good.

Aah.. Before you think all’ bliss, let me assure you. It was not!!! Being a pilot team, we had no work, we were being pushed from team to team and were literally like orphans on the floor!!  Nobody knew what work we wuld actually be doing. Nobody knew who to report to. Man! It was crazy!!! It still is. But the good part is that Ive made friends and its fun! Over all the hectic schedules and busy timings and rigorous wor,k, it s good to be up and about. On the move. Working! 🙂

Marriage. Why? October 11, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Relationships.
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Why DO men and women get married?

They say they love each other. But does it last? Are they really able to intertwine two individuals’ likes, dislikes, hobbies, tempers, egos, whims and fancies and mould it into a single path.. a single road?

I know here I am going to go against all that I said in my earlier posts..but I felt I had to view love life from the opposite point too…

Read why at http://www.luckyandvin.com/relationships/marriage-why/

Not so lucky here.. August 22, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Réflexions diverses.
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It has now been a year and a half since I graduated. I did my post graduation at a really nice college and in a really interesting booming (In India, just coming up) field.

But, even now, I still have not got a job. Im still unoccupied. I have been searching high and low…have been spreading the news of my joblessness by word of mouth thinking that maybe smebody somewhere might know someone who might know of a vacancy at their workplace. But to no avail.

In this area, God has completely left me alone..with absolutely no luck..and now, no hope left.

I feel so down just thinking of it. Near and dear have begun thinking that I do not want to work..that I do not long to be a career woman..that I am not searching hard enough. It hurts me so much when I hear undertones of this kind in the way people talk to me these days.. People have begun thinking I am just not capable..that maybe I am not good enough for a job!! Do you.. or anybody out there know how really bad it hurts right in the heart when you get that feeling?!!!! It hurts Real bad… Really really bad!!!

Nobody knows how desperate I am feeling. They don’t know that I have had enough and that I have lost all my positive thoughts.. my hopes.. my dreams.. everything!!! There is only this dull yearning in my heart that I wish I could get a job.. But, I feel everyone has deserted me in this area..

It really is very upsetting. Others would not be able to understand what I am going through.. the feelings that are running in my mind. I used to be confident and positive. But now, I have lost my very sense of self-worth even! What is the use of saying, ” Don’t worry. You will get a good job..” ? It doesn’t help. These are just words. I am not going to get a job with them.

I don’t think I any longer possess the self-confidence that I once had. Maybe even now, it might emerge and all of my basic characteristics are just cowering.. But, when..? Am I always going to be a home-maker? I don’t mean that to be a demeaning job. It is good. It takes up the whole day and there is a lot to do. But mostly it is that job without which life itself doesn’t run smoothly for everyone else!!!

But that is not what I studied all these years with a lot of hard work for! That is not why I followed my dreams, drawing my own path and reaching out to get what I aimed for!!! This is just not how I thought things would turn out..

In every other area, I can say I am blessed.. that I am happy.. but my career.. my job.. my work.. that is a subject whose mention can change my mood.. can upset me.. can stop all my talking..

I feel I have become a very boring person. I feel that none would be interested in talking to me now.. coz’ they would be bored with what I would have to say.. I am married and I cook and try to make the house a home for my husband. What is there to talk so much about that?! Nothing!!! Nothing at all!!! 😦

I have even lost touch with my hobbies and sit in front of the computer all day long doing this or that or rather nothing much!!! :/

I yearn for a job in my field of expertise. I yearn to earn a salary every month. I yearn to go out into the world and show everybody how able I am!

Rains July 1, 2008

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Today is a through and through rainy, wet and cold day!!!

Ive been up in the morning and blogging from then on. Yet the rains still have not ceased.. Remember the rhyme “Rain rain go away, come again another day, little johnny wants to play…”? This is what keeps running through my mind..

I agree rains are a beautiful sight to watch.. but I don’t feel so great about it when Jason and I are having an argument! Just imagine! there is just 10 days for our marriage and he can still hold onto his ego like his own skin!!!

Tell me.. Which normal human being is there who is in love with a person and has not even given a thought to the future? Is there anyone in love who cannot answer to “Where do you picture us in 10 years time..?”

I’m not asking for all our dreams to come true.. but just give some reply.. something ..anything would do.. !! But he says he doesnt know!!! OMG! A perfect reply for the beginnings of an argument.

There are times I have bent and there are times that he has bent. but so soon before our marriage.. (which by the way we have been waiting 5 years for…!!!) when there is an argument, the least he could do is think about it, call me up and tell me something right?!

Aah.. anyway, Im just waiting for his call.. hope he does that soon..

Touch of the Master’s Hand by Myra Welsh June 30, 2008

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Today I went to my old school. It was a nostalgic moment for me and I wished I could turn back the years to those splendid times when life was care-free and everything was a game.. when I had no responsibilities or burdens to carry.. no deep thoughts necessary and all the happiness that was possible ( which I realize now..) …

I came across this poem on our notice board.. It touched me really deep.. And I thought it might help someone out here in the blogging world if I shared it..

“Touch of the Master’s Hand” by Myra Welsh

” T’was battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.

“What am I bidden, good folks,” he cried,
“Who’ll start the bidding for me?”
“A dollar, a dollar,” then, two! Only two?
“Two dollars, and who’ll make it three?

“Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three . . . “But no,
From the room, far back, a grey haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;

Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said: “What am I bid for the old violin?”
And he held it up with the bow.

“A thousand dollars, and who’ll make it two?
Two thousand! And who’ll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;
And going and gone,” said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried,
“We do not quite understand
What changed its worth?” Swift came the reply:
“The touch of a master’s hand.”

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.

A “mess of potage,” a glass of wine;
A game, and he travels on.
He is “going” once, and “going” twice,
He’s “going” and almost “gone.”

But the Master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that’s wrought
By the touch of the Master’s hand.”

 

 Is it not beautiful..?

Goody good good!! :D June 23, 2008

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I was tensed and excited everything at the same tim you could say .. till very recently.. (https://4mgiselle.wordpress.com/2008/06/22/omg/) But thanks to all the reassurances from various quarters and the absolute certainty of happiness and fun, Im now soo very much free of all the worries I had in mind.. and looking forward to my D-DAY!!!! 🙂 Just cant wait for it!!!

Life is filled with twists and turns all right, left, and U-turns tooo!!! I guess we just cant predict anything after all.. We have a dream.. keep it in our mind and try to achieve it when we are side-tracked half the time. .and in the end, be happy with what we have..coz’ we got to remember.. things could have been worse.. but its not.. And thats what matters.

What is Love..? May 25, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Poetry.
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Love is a dream..

Love is a wish..

Love is a hope that many a girl,

even guys, yearn for..

Love can be friendship

Love can be pride

Love leads to joy

And love shows us sorrow too.

Yet we run after love.

For what you may ask..

Coz’ in the end,

Love is all we need

to make life complete.

Without love,

I work, I play

I sing, I dance

I read, I write

I eat, I sleep

But through this all,

the hole in my heart widens in its diameter

when love is absent..

I cry to sleep at night

And I wake up feeling lonely,

with a raging headache

and swollen eyes..

Why then do we sometimes close ourselves to love?

Why then do we shun love and run away from it?

Why is love given much less importance,

than many a different aspect of life?

If you have love,

you have it all!

When you see love,

you find the ultimate beauty in every being..

When you feel love,

you learn to apreciate the small things in life..

When you show love,

you become a much better person..

Love is a dream..

Love is a wish..

Love is a hope that many a girl,

even guys, yearn for..

– Lucky (LHNV)

Promises May 3, 2008

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Promises.

They are made to be broken.

I took for granted

a promise, to be

a bond forever.

But lately realized

it’s not.

I got confused.

I became agitated.

I was surprised

and I was shaken.

I cried

and I fussed.

But nothing could change

the truth.

that a promise,

no longer meant promise.

– Lucky (LHNV)

Talking about him.. May 3, 2008

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There are times I wish I were with him. In fact, I yearn for that almost all the time.

I did not know when I first met him that he would be the one for me.. that someday I would be his.. that he would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with.. that I would find so much of this thing that we keep on hearing about so often and that so many follow sometimes vainly- true love – from him…

The first moment my eyes fell on him, I felt some sort of attraction.. a pull you could maybe say. My friends did not think much of my choice.. but he was somehow seemed very captivating to me with his smart dressing, his long strided determined walk, his cautious eyes, his innocent smile and his completely charming laughter 🙂 Thinking about the first time we talked to each other, a smile already forms on my face.. Both of us were at a loss for words but me being the chatterbox that I am, somehow managed to keep up the conversation while tension was eating me from inside and my heart was beating so loud that I thought he might hear it!!! 😉

He has a weird sense of humour..but 😀 makes me laugh almost all the time 🙂 He loves holding my hand over the gear while driving.. He enjoys teasing me and I’m pretty sure he finds it a great hobby to see all the various expressions that so easily comes over my face when he says something or the other..

When we are together and alone he makes me want him so bad and then teases me by pulling away and giving me that o so adorable smile and a naughty laughter! How can I even get angry at him when face to face..Absolutely no chance!

Everything was moving so smoothly. .so beautifully.. life was brilliant..bright..full of hope..full of shine..               Yea.. The problem is now. When everything became so alright with everyone.. when everyone now knows that we are soon going to be man and wife..  It now has become so trapped.. somehow secluded.. and I feel so much pressure from all sides..   “You must do this this way.”Don’t do that.”, “You have to take care of him.”, ” Do you know cooking?”, “No. You have to see to it that he is comfortable.”, “You have to find a job near his place.”, “Does he approve?”, “Don’t you think you should ask him about it?”, “How can you take your own decision? Check with him too.”

Why? Why? Why?!!! We have been together for like forever!!!! 4 years is quite a long time and in these years, we had gotten to know each other quite a bit.. and I thought.. actually, I felt that we were married..in a way. The only thing lacking from our “marriage” was the fact that it was not yet legal. But, seeing how things turn after making a relationship public and getting engaged, I sometimes feel that maybe it wasn’t such a wise idea. I could have just stayed a spinster and kept loving him…

But, that is just one side of the coin…

All the freedom we get with each other and all the time we get to spend with each other make up for everything else.. Even now, deep inside my heart, nothing has changed from the first moment I met him.. All those feelings.. All those thoughts.. All the crazy beating of my heart.. Everything is the same! 🙂

Still, there is that aspect of subtlety missing these days. No more of those adventures of getting away without anybody else’ knowledge.. No more long night calls and morning wake up calls.. No more extra appreciation and passionate desire to spend time alone.. I miss all that..

Still… ….    ….  to be with the man you love and who loves you back.. to be an equal partner and spend your life with him.. to intertwine both your roads of life to make it one long happy journey is enough to keep any girl happy..

He is the one who made me even think of marriage and kids.. in short, the entire package! 😉

..So, yea.. i cant wait to begin my life with him..as man and wife 🙂