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Yahoo! It’s over! April 15, 2009

Posted by Giselle in Uncategorized.
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The busy season is finally over! and you have NO idea how happy I am!!!

It’s true when elders tell us: Enjoy this time. Once you start working it is going to be very hectic!! We would obviously feel that they can say this or whatever else they want because they have a job and that they do not understand the feelings of someone who does not have a job. But it is true. Once you start working, everything is SO hectic. You have no time for anything at all.

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Luckily… March 21, 2009

Posted by Giselle in Uncategorized.
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I am SO lucky to be married to my husband!

He’  just Perfect! He has been SO supportive of my job timings which have now increased to 11 hours a day due to the financial year busy season!  He helps me with all the household chores and especially with cooking! I have NO idea what I would have done without him…

It feels great to be married to such a gem of a person! 😀

I agree the work timings are a bit over the board and it just is not fair on him. Mine and because of that, his schedules are all in haywire! The body clocks too! Our meal timings and the cookng is all on such a low scale these days that I feel so bad about the fact that I am not able to look after him as I used to.. 😦 Sometimes I feel I just ought to turn in my resignation letter. But the joy that you get on the last day of every month is just too tempting!!! 😉

Well, who knows what may happen when.. SO, Im just taking things slow. Yes, I am looking for another job with better timings so that I could have my personal life also. But right now it is just the job! :/ I knw. It does sound so bad. Doesn’t it…

Good news! March 21, 2009

Posted by Giselle in Uncategorized.
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Hey there evrybody..

Firstly let me begin with a BIG apology for being soooo behind in my writings. Although when you hear the reason, you sure would not be feeling too bad about it! 🙂

I GOT A JOB!!! 😀

It all began one fine day some months back when I received a call from a placement offfice informing me about a vacancy. As I was getting bored out of my wits sitting at home, I thought to myself, “Why not? I shall give this a try even though it may not be my field.”  And thus, the journey began. I went through 5 rounds of interviews & tests and passed.  Soon it was the day to collect my offer letter. I was THRILLED! I’d be joining in 2 weeks time! My office was FAR away nd I would have to travel a lot. Also the timings would be a little rigorous. But I was just SO enthralled at having finally become a working lady that I did not give it any thought.

The day finally dawned and I went to office, with trepidation in my heart as to what was awaiting me. But it was GREAT! It was fantastic!! 🙂 Everything was going wonderfully well. I was part of a pilot team and it felt good.

Aah.. Before you think all’ bliss, let me assure you. It was not!!! Being a pilot team, we had no work, we were being pushed from team to team and were literally like orphans on the floor!!  Nobody knew what work we wuld actually be doing. Nobody knew who to report to. Man! It was crazy!!! It still is. But the good part is that Ive made friends and its fun! Over all the hectic schedules and busy timings and rigorous wor,k, it s good to be up and about. On the move. Working! 🙂

I am So Mean :'( August 27, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Relationships.
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I did a very bad thing today. Why am I like this? Why can I not understand my husband? Why am I being such a pain in the ass!!!! :/

Jason loves me so much and this is what I do to him! I feel so terrible!!! 😥

… 😦 He took his frustration out at me when he came back from a hard day of work and I got all huffed up and insulted at his mentioning that my work looked like a game to him and I walked off to bed. I didn’t give him dinner and neither did I prepare anything for breakfast!!! I actually intentionally hurt the love of my life!!!! I don’t think even God would forgive me!!! 😥 I feel like crying.. Why do I behave this way sometimes?

He takes care of me and caters to my every need and wish.. He loves me with the whole of his heart and would never cheat on me. He loves the food I make for him and he likes spending time with me. Yet, what do I do… I hurt him, Again and again! :/

Fine!I don’t have a job. But that is not his fault! He is also trying to get me a job somehow.. and then WHY did I have to treat him the way I just did! I don’t think there is anything I could do to compensate for what I did :/ But what is it about the computer and the internet that is SO tempting to him and cant be put away for his girl, I cannot imagine! 😦 I feel so lonely when he sits in front of the computer..because the moment that happens, he completely looses every other sense of whats happening around him.. 😦

I did not even hug him yesterday night.. and neither did I give him any kisses when he went to office today.. and I made him go to bed hungry and go to office hungry today morning… :/

It is all my fault… :/ and I am not able to make up with him coz’ lost time can never be made up for.. 😦

….

But he too did not come to talk to me after venting out his frustration.. He could have just come near me at least.. He knows how fast I forgive him.. It really hurt me when he compared my field of work to a game..:/ and even I have not eaten anything in the past 1 day…

… Whats the use…? I was completely wrong and there is nothing I can do to make up with him over this 😦 and he is never going to forget this either.. 😦

Not so lucky here.. August 22, 2008

Posted by Giselle in Réflexions diverses.
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It has now been a year and a half since I graduated. I did my post graduation at a really nice college and in a really interesting booming (In India, just coming up) field.

But, even now, I still have not got a job. Im still unoccupied. I have been searching high and low…have been spreading the news of my joblessness by word of mouth thinking that maybe smebody somewhere might know someone who might know of a vacancy at their workplace. But to no avail.

In this area, God has completely left me alone..with absolutely no luck..and now, no hope left.

I feel so down just thinking of it. Near and dear have begun thinking that I do not want to work..that I do not long to be a career woman..that I am not searching hard enough. It hurts me so much when I hear undertones of this kind in the way people talk to me these days.. People have begun thinking I am just not capable..that maybe I am not good enough for a job!! Do you.. or anybody out there know how really bad it hurts right in the heart when you get that feeling?!!!! It hurts Real bad… Really really bad!!!

Nobody knows how desperate I am feeling. They don’t know that I have had enough and that I have lost all my positive thoughts.. my hopes.. my dreams.. everything!!! There is only this dull yearning in my heart that I wish I could get a job.. But, I feel everyone has deserted me in this area..

It really is very upsetting. Others would not be able to understand what I am going through.. the feelings that are running in my mind. I used to be confident and positive. But now, I have lost my very sense of self-worth even! What is the use of saying, ” Don’t worry. You will get a good job..” ? It doesn’t help. These are just words. I am not going to get a job with them.

I don’t think I any longer possess the self-confidence that I once had. Maybe even now, it might emerge and all of my basic characteristics are just cowering.. But, when..? Am I always going to be a home-maker? I don’t mean that to be a demeaning job. It is good. It takes up the whole day and there is a lot to do. But mostly it is that job without which life itself doesn’t run smoothly for everyone else!!!

But that is not what I studied all these years with a lot of hard work for! That is not why I followed my dreams, drawing my own path and reaching out to get what I aimed for!!! This is just not how I thought things would turn out..

In every other area, I can say I am blessed.. that I am happy.. but my career.. my job.. my work.. that is a subject whose mention can change my mood.. can upset me.. can stop all my talking..

I feel I have become a very boring person. I feel that none would be interested in talking to me now.. coz’ they would be bored with what I would have to say.. I am married and I cook and try to make the house a home for my husband. What is there to talk so much about that?! Nothing!!! Nothing at all!!! 😦

I have even lost touch with my hobbies and sit in front of the computer all day long doing this or that or rather nothing much!!! :/

I yearn for a job in my field of expertise. I yearn to earn a salary every month. I yearn to go out into the world and show everybody how able I am!